"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 15

I eventually had to quit the doordashing.  It was just getting to be too much for me.  I feel it had alot to do with my age.  It was just wearing me out.

After that I really started having money issues.   

The electricity had been in my mother's name.  Once she passed away, I had to have it moved over into my name.  To do that they wanted several hundred dollars to get it started in my name.   Something that seemed totally ridiculous to me since I was the one paying the bills in the first place. Well, I did not have it and as a result of this problem I lived in this hot trailer with no electricity during the hottest two months of the summer last year.  Thanks to a sweet young lady my electricity was turned back on without me paying that extra money.  She was a great blessing.

I had people think I was just being lazy by not working the doordash anymore.  My reply to that is I am on disability for a reason and have been for almost 20 years.  I have never been a lazy person but I will tell you when your health gets in the way something has to give.  I have lived my life in excruciating pain with neuropathy which has always made standing or walking for any length of time impossible, fibromyalgia which is a terrible inflammatory illness, then add anxiety and type 2 diabetes, elevated BP, and other genetic health issues and you have a recipe for disaster.  So no, I am not lazy.

Since that time, things had gotten so rough it was coming down to pay the car note or eat.

I chose being able to eat and as a result I lost my car.

Now the latest thing is I had a very bad water leak that was ruining what was left of the floor in my bedroom;  actually several water leaks.  This trailer moma had, its 43 or 44 years old now and the entire floor support is failing.  I had no extra money to fix the leaks and have the floors redone so I have had the water turned off.  I have had no running water for a month and a half, maybe longer.  A person can get real creative if you have no choice but to live this way.

I have to rely on my daughters to take me places I need to go.

The majority of the trailer is full of all my things packed up and ready that I once had in storage.  I have been in a testing and resting period, I know this. Resting for what is to come.  My daughters have been tested as well because of needing to make sure I had enough food in the house.  I always hated asking anyone for help but I have learned to ask if I need anything.

In God's timing, I know things will be better.  I have alot of faith in my heart that God will bring the man I love and I back together.

We are both different people today than we were three years ago when God separated us to heal.  We have learned alot while apart.  We have both done alot of healing and learned alot of life lessons.  I know without a doubt that he and I will spend the remainder of our lives together.

The waiting is the hard part, but God always finishes the work he starts in us.  That is the truth.