Memories are the built in diary we carry within us. The thing is, we tend to focus on the negative memories over the good ones.
A persistent recall of negative memories are a defense mechanism but can also lead to depression and anxiety. Research has shown that if the positive aspects of a negative memory are focused on rather than the negative experience itself, than the focus can be shifted to a more positive one;
that's something to think about.
Growing memories are the process of developing and changing the memories we have over time. Memories are a complex cognitive ability that is important for learning, thinking and developing a sense of self. Everyone has lifetime memories that consist of things like the birth of a baby, a wedding day,
graduating from college, experiencing a beautiful sunset with someone you love or a significant accomplishment that brought you immense pride. If they were all put together it would be like a motion picture of your life. These type memories are often brought back to your conscious mind. They are usually wonderfully happy memories and therefore are tied to strong emotions such as joy, love, excitement or even sadness sometimes, making them particularly vivid and lasting. Major life events create very powerful lifetime memories. Memories that involve deep connections to others tend to stay with us the longest. The best moments of our lives will guide us to a better more enjoyable world.
There are those memories we have stored away though that are anything but enjoyable or happy ones. Children who experience trauma are the ones who experience severe damage in their formative years. When the traumatized child reaches adulthood, the tramatic events could have a lasting negative effect on their health and well being; those negative memories are remembered as an adult. The child that has been abused, neglected or exposed to traumatic events, has a much higher chance of having rather severe health issues as an adult; alcoholism, depression, smoking, eating disorders, high risk sexual behaviors and certain chronic diseases to name a few. The promotion of proper care for the most vulnerable, our children, will give them a chance for a happy, healthy and productive life. For all those who have dealt with negative childhood memories; you need to show yourself kindness and compassion. We need to try and step away from the memory, and acknowledge our emotions in regard to it. Try your best to keep yourself aware of the present moment and live in it as much as possible. Bringing a therapist onboard can also help with other coping strategies. For those who keep replaying their past negative memories, some have had good results by reenacting the childhood memory and replacing it with a positive outcome. Every time you remember a negative memory, you are strengthening the neural pathway and the memory will live on. By not intentionally recalling a bad memory, however, the neural pathway weakens and you will eventually start to forget.
Keep loving yourself no matter what. You have to hold love for yourself within your heart before love for anyone else can grow and thrive. Be patient with yourself. Reprogramming your negative memories takes time.
Please remember, you have always been worthy of being treated well, whether an adult or child. I have found that relaxation techniques help me cope with bad memories. It is important to try to avoid things that trigger your past negative memories. Following is a great trauma prayer I found:
Trauma Prayer
Lord, In the midst of my trauma and pain, I seek your healing.
You know the depth of my wounds and weight of my burdens. I ask that you bring comfort to my heart and peace to my mind. Mend my brokenness and guide me towards a path of restoration.
Give me the strength to lean upon your promises. Give me the courage to embrace the journey towards healing. I trust in your unwavering love as the ultimate source of hope and renewal.
Amen
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