"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 38

Sometimes we feel stuck as though nothing is working in our lives.  But there is so much more that is constantly going on behind the scenes.  We question whether we are heading in the right direction.  We all have the feeling at times that we are stuck in a loop of doubt, we are moving but going no where.

It really is just being human. It's confusing and you feel you don't know what you're doing.  In the future, you will look back and know you were one who kept going even though you weren't sure why.   Well, you may feel you're not liking yourself much right now for one reason or another, but I will tell you this...

You still are putting down the foundation for everything that is to come.

Sometimes life just does not go as we planned for it to.  No matter what, do not ever give up on yourself.

Things will fall into place as they are meant to, within God's timing, not our timing.  There is no such thing as a coincidence.   You might feel lost and afraid when things do not go according to the way you mapped your life out; you are being taken in a  totally different direction.  Go with the flow.  Even though a change might be completely unexpected, it does not mean it will not lead you exactly where you need to be and guide you to the most wonderful turn of events in your life.  Our Heavenly Father knows alot better than we do what is best and for our greatest good.

Some love is meant to teach us lessons we came in to this world to learn.  In that respect, some relationships are meant for only a season where others are meant for a lifetime.  The same goes for places of employment and even a place we think of as home. I hope this makes the loss of people, a job we enjoy or even a home in our lives more understandable.  Every single thing that takes place in our lives was meant to occur and occur in the exact way it did.  Most of the time, it is because the lesson has been learned and it is your time to move on to the next lesson that was set before you ever came here. The same holds true for a person's appointed time of death.  At the time a person leaves this earthly plane, they have finalized all their lessons to  be completed within this lifetime.   As a reminder, Earth is actually a universal school; a place of learning.  Things will eventually make so much more sense to you when you start to understand this.

Some of life's best teachers are heartbreak, having no money and failing at something.  

Trust that what is meant for you will come.  Don't expect or assume things.

Start looking at people in your life as though each one has been sent to you to teach you something.  It will help in your understanding of how the world truly works.  It also will help keep you stronger in your faith.  People in your life are not necessarily meant to stick around.  Everything in our lives happens when and how it is meant to; down to the last detail.

No more of a truth has ever been spoken.

"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 37

I have been thinking about how hard it is to lose someone you love.  When my daddy passed away, it was a shock to me.  I never dreamed I would lose him at only 70 years old.  You expect to have your parents until they are atleast up into their 80's and hopefully longer.  

My husband and I had gone on a vacation to Branson, Missouri.

We did not call to check on things until almost home.  When we called home and talked to my stepdaughter she gave us some  bad news about daddy.  It turned my world completely upside down.  My daddy had had a massive stroke.  We were nearer the hospital where they had taken him than we were to our home, so we kept driving on to the hospital where he was.  Still hanging on to hope that it possibly was not as bad as it sounded, It broke my heart in two when I saw that he had been placed on life support.  

We all took our turn in talking to him.  I let him know that I was there and that I loved him.  I felt strongly that he knew when we got there, but I really didn't know why. We all as a family had to make the difficult decision to remove him from life support. 

 It just never felt real to me.  

The day before we left on our trip, my mother and daddy came by the hospital to visit with me during lunch.  I was working in medical records at the time.

As I think back now to that day, I remember some things about the way daddy looked.  He was so swollen in his face, he did not even appear to have a neck.

Also, his coloring was terrible.  He looked grey is the best way I know how to describe it. His face did not have much color at all.  When they left from their visit, he also was limping or giving to one leg.  

About ten days later we were having his funeral.  That day, I convinced myself, it was someone else.  This was not my daddy lying in that casket, because he looked nothing like himself.  It just had to be someone else.

After all started calming down after his burial, It took me  several months before I would go back to the cemetery.  I probably wouldn't have gone back as soon as I did if not for a simple message that found me as I was driving past the cemetery on my way somewhere else.  Just as I reached the driveway to the cemetery, a school bus was fixing to let a child off at his home directly across from that driveway.  Out popped the warning sign, STOP!

I stopped, knowing that was also a message from the Lord for me to go visit the cemetery.  Since that time I could always feel subtle messages from above that were meant for me even though they would not have been clear to anyone else.  

I drove into the cemetery and parked my car.  I walked to my daddy's gravesite and just stood  there feeling so very lost; so sad.

The tears came for the first time since the funeral.  I just couldn't before.  I had buried my pain so deeply inside.  I cried and cried and cried that day.  From that time, I started truly healing.  I found myself able to let out all my anguish.  There were two times I remember having good cries and lying face down on my bed. I was just so distraught.  Both times when this occurred, our home phone sitting on the bedside table close to me, rang, but when I answered there was no one on the line.

In the office, where I worked, we were not allowed to wear perfume of any kind because of so many of the girls having allergic reactions to it.  So one day, when I was sitting at my desk, I smelled this really powdery fresh scent float across my nose.   It actually made me sneeze. I was confused.  Someone had to be wearing something that was tickling my nose.  I got up from my desk and checked all through the office for who it was...nothing.  There was not another soul in that office but me.

The next morning before I ever opened my eyes, I had the same thing happen again, only it felt like an actual feather touching me under the nose; the same fresh scent.  I was just sure when I opened my eyes someone would be standing there at my bedside but there was no one.  I come to realize that all these things happening were messages that everything was going to be alright.

Because of the fresh scent I could smell when these happenings occurred,  I  came to know that it was an angel that was visiting me to let me know that daddy was in a wonderful place and he was okay.

I realized after a while that, hey, I recognize that scent...  It was that wonderful smell that a newborn baby has for a while.   So now, I am certainly convinced that like an angel, a  newborn has that scent because they have come from heaven;  babies only losing it after they've been in this world for a  while.

The next thing that happened was during the first Christmas without daddy.  My husband had cut me a large base out of plywood for my Christmas village collection, drilling many holes in it for the electric plugs  to go through, hiding them underneath.  It was a delightful addition to my Christmas decor.  I had a motion sensor lighthouse.  It was no longer working properly; I just did not want to get rid of it.  It was still beautiful.

One day as I was feeling very melancholy, I had stopped at the opposite end of my village to cry;  total opposite end from the lighthouse.  As I cried, my lighthouse went off.  I was standing many feet away from it; too far for it to have the light in the top of it lit up and rotating.  You cannot believe what a surprise that was. We are talking about a village that extended a good 6 to 8 feet.   Even if it had decided to work once again, you always had to be standing right at the lighthouse for it to go off.  I was very aware without a doubt that it was meant to comfort me.

It took me such a long time to begin healing after this loss.  I do understand that one person grieves differently from another; some taking longer than others.

It definitely took me longer.

The loss of a loved one is not the only type of grief a person may experience.  Sometimes you outgrow places that seemed as though your  permanent home.  People may drift away because life takes you in a different direction.  It hurts to feel as though you are walking away from pieces of your own heart.   Change is good but even when it's necessary, it still feels like loss.  It hurts that something that meant everything to you is now just a memory.  Grief exists because something or someone mattered to you.  If it mattered, it will always be a part of who you are.

If you feel the ache of leaving behind what was familiar, know that it is alright.  You are allowed to grieve the past even as you step into your future. Growing in your life does not erase love...

Moving forward does not mean you forget.

"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 36

People love to the level that they love themselves and behave to their level of healed trauma.

Each and every one of us have had things happen in our lives that have left us with deep emotional scars.  Most people will not just automatically know that they need healing from that trauma.  The truth is that every day we wake up, it comes with  more to maneuver through.  After years of collected unhealed trauma, you get to the point even a normal day can be quite overwhelming. It had gotten that way for me.  I was always one to hold things in.  When you do that consistently, you will eventually have an intense anger brewing under the surface. For me, an argument blowup did not really have anything much to do with the argument at hand.  It was like an explosion because I had reached the limit of hurt I could hang on to.  When my spiritual awakening began, every part of my existence as I knew it was stripped away.  You have everything torn down so that you have no choice but to reach inside yourself to connect with the source of creation. You feel like your entire world has been pulled out from under your feet and you have only the Creator to build upon. This is God's way of getting your attention.  As you work through it, every trauma or difficulty you have ever had in your life from childhood through to adulthood will one at a time be brought to the surface so you can deal with it head on, cry out the hurt and release it. It was a strange feeling, because for me, the tears flowed from deep within me, without even much of a thought. 

What most people do not realize is that things that you have long forgotten about and that are no longer on your mind's conscious level are affecting your life in a huge way now in the present.  Especially anyone who has had severe trauma when just a child.

A deep healing is necessary in those cases. You must believe in yourself and your power to heal.  Meditation is a wonderful practice and a great way to get started.  To sit in silence with yourself will begin to bring out the real you; your true self. Don't assume though that you can do it completely on your own.  You need that closeness with God.  If you meditate and connect with Him and talk to Him about things that you need to let go of, He will definitely help you understand what you need to heal.  It will build a bond between you.  In the stillness, He speaks.  You have only to listen.  People tend to keep their feelings and pain inside themselves.  They feel like no one cares about the way they are hurting.  You will find that opening up to the Lord about those feelings during your meditation, can only make things better.  He is a great listener and  wants very much for you to allow the bond between you to grow.  I have learned that He will get as close to you as you allow Him to get.  He loves you and is always with you.  He wants so much for you to realize just how great His love for you truly is.

Jeremiah 32:17

Heavenly Father, You have created the heavens and the earth with your mighty power.

You are sovereign over all.

There is nothing too hard for You.  I place my trust in You to 

work through the challenges

I face; knowing that You can turn them into triumphs.

In Jesus Name.   Amen.

These traumas affect our mental health.  Your mental health is way more important than your career will ever be.  It really makes alot of sense then to see about heeling all that pent up hurt before going after your  dreams or pursuing a specific goal you have in your life.

You will absolutely disappoint some people by becoming your

own priority.  So what?  Let them be disappointed.  Your self care is so very important.  Self care is about doing things you don't really want to do in the present moment.  It's not all about bubble baths and those kinds of things; although those are nice too. 

The thing is, your self care now means a happier future later.  You have the power to create change.  Believe in yourself.  You can achieve anything you set your mind to.  Genuine people are not concerned with being liked.  They balance confidence and humility.  They don't seek attention and feel comfortable in their own skin.  They will not be easily offended.  Accept within yourself that life isn't fair.  Show kindness to unkind people.  Admit it when you make a mistake.  Do not blame others or criticize them. Know when to stay silent.  Learn from your past but live in the present.

Plan for your future and don't sweat the small stuff.

Take the time to be alone and heal.

"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 35

Always be your authentic self.  Do not hide the real you.  Different people will always see you in their own way.  Some will see you as shy and quiet and then someone else may see you as cold and mean.  Some may say you are even annoying and won't stop talking.  So many different versions of you exist in others' perceptions.  The person you see as the real you only exists for you.  Do not take things personally.  We all meet people for a reason.  Either they will bring about change in your life or you will change theirs.

No matter how bad something hurts you now, you will look back and realize the struggles you went through changed your life for the better.  The only person you have to face is yourself; besides, you will not know the true value of a moment in time until it becomes a memory.

Life is truly a mirror.  It will reflect back to you what you think into it.  Self love comes from self control.    The best kind of revenge is getting to a place of no longer caring about revenge.  I have come so very far in that respect.  I no longer feel I have to be vindicated.  It's having true freedom.  

I will say, a person will never respect themselves if they are a people pleaser.  Life does not get any easier.  What it is is that you have gotten to be a stronger person.  What another person thinks of you just does not matter.  Think of all the time and energy that is wasted trying to keep other people happy with you.  What you think about yourself is what is truly important.  People you love will hurt you.  Friends can turn into strangers in the blink of an eye.  Our parents were having to figure this stuff out the same as we are.  It's something every generation has had to come to terms with.

If anyone ever makes you question your worth, you do not need that kind of person in your life.  I had a person I considered a close friend but whenever I was around that person they were always making subtle rude remarks to me.  It was every time we spent any time visiting. To be honest, I got to where I just did not want to be around them and eventually distanced myself from them.  After several months of not seeing them, I guess I started feeling guilty.  I told them what had caused the distance and they turned everything around making it as though it was me being too sensitive.  I gave them one more chance and it was not long before the same  old patterns showed up again.  That was it...  I got my fill.  They are no longer in my life.

Sometimes, you just have to do what you know is best for you.

Quality of friends over quantity of friends always wins.  Words can inspire someone but action will create change.  We are what we repeatedly do.  Focus on your values and goals you are passionate about.  Small daily actions shape who we become.

Failure is not fatal;  it's the courage to continue that counts.

What lies in your past or lies before you is a small matter compared to what lies within you.  Your mindset determines your possibilities.  Consistently moving forward keeps you on your path to improvement.  Collect ideas, become one that takes notice of everything around you.  The world is chocked full of wisdom and experiences.  Start writing.  Having a good writing skill will cultivate discipline within you.

The discipline of your thoughts will become much more structured over time.  You live most of your life inside your head.  It's a great thing to make sure it's a nice comfortable place to be. 

"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 34

Something I learned the hard way is if a relationship has to be a secret to remain in it, you should not be in it period...Make peace with your past so it will not cause issues in your present.  Never compare your life with someone elses.  You have no idea what that person's journey has been about.  People tend to try and make comparisons like that, and it really makes no sense.  There are no two people out there who have come to this planet with the same story or things to learn while here.  So that is futile.

When struggling in life, take a deep breath; take several deep breathes.  It will instantly calm you and make you feel better.  Try not to take yourself too seriously.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Time heals most everything, so give time time...

You are the only one in charge of your own happiness.  Do not think of someone else or some temporary situation as the reason for being unhappy.  

Envy is a waste of time; accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

And too, if all of us threw our problems in one big pile and could see everyone else's, we would more than likely grab ours back.  Think about this, any disaster that comes, is any of it going to matter in five years?  No, it isn't.  Every issue we face is only temporary.  Life seems unfair at times, but life is still a wonderful gift.  Anything can change in the blink of an eye.  Believe in miracles...

Life is too short; enjoy it!

It's ok to get angry with God;  that is human nature and He can take it.  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

To cry,  is very healing.  To cry with someone else is even more healing.  It is perfectly fine to let your children see you cry.  One time while crying hard, I held onto my pet and hugged him up close.  It was one of the most healing cries I have ever had.

Try to get outside as much as you possibly can.  Staying indoors too much will put you in a sad mood.  

Forgive those who have done wrong towards you.  Forgiveness is for your good, not theirs.  Forgiving that person does not mean you have to forget.

I promise you, the best is yet to come.

God loves you because of who He is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

Show up for life and make the most of it now.  All that matters in the end is that you loved.

 

"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 33

Alot of us are overthinkers;  I know I am. Your anxiety will tell you the worst case scenario every time.  You are strong and can get through hard times one step at a time.  You have already survived things you thought you wouldn't survive.  It is okay to not be okay.  Let go of any negative emotions.  Your anxieties will lie to you; don't listen.  Keep yourself distracted from bad thoughts.  Keep your mind off of things that tear away your positivity.  God has a purpose for everything we experience whether it's making us wait, making us adapt to change, making us reflect or surrendering to Him.  When you get angry, try singing.  When you are burned out take a walk in nature. When you overthink start journalling; it definitely helps.  You could even write those thoughts down on a piece of paper and then burn it.  Burn it up and release it... 

When stressed, get moving; It works.

If you get sad, speak your gratitude out into the universe.

Something I use all the time to calm down are recordings of nature sounds.  I listen to rain, 

ocean sounds, a rippling creek, birds singing.  I listen to the rain to go to sleep alot of nights.

A light windchime is good.  Any forest sounds are very calming and will relax you. 

 God continues loving us whether we are experiencing a bad day or the best day ever.  His unconditional love keeps us wrapped in His arms.  By giving your troubles over to Him, you are choosing not to fear or worry any longer about a situation.  Ask Him to renew your mind, awaken your spirit and cleanse your broken heart.  Trust that He has a better plan because every single thing that happens in our lives has a reason and purpose.

Have a rich mindset. Live in the present moment, learn from your mistakes, do not complain, stop any bad habits you may have and take action.  Alot of us tend to get an idea about something, we think about it and then do nothing.  That's the typical, I can't do it attitude.

On the other hand, you can get that idea, think about it and take action immediately;  can't never could.  A poor mindset is afraid of investing and has a fear of change.  When you take action you bring about growth in your life.  What can you do to make a positive change in your life?  Are you getting in your own way,  blocking that positivity by not taking action about an idea;  shooting it down because of your fear?

Unless action is taken, nothing changes.  You will then remain stagnant and stay exactly where you are in life.  

Some real luxuries in life are a quiet mind, your health, rest without guilt, a good night's sleep, slow mornings, meaningful conversation, home cooked meals, people you love, people who love you back and time.

When the world feels heavy on your shoulders, continue to press on.  Be an example of courage and resilience.

I want to remind you of something.  Despite all the obstacles and hardships you have faced, you have endured so much; remember that.  It takes incredible strength to keep going when it would be much easier to quit.

Regret says there's an opportunity to change course.

Fear says you are being challenged to grow.

Sadness says pay attention to what is lacking in your life.

Jealousy says acknowlege your true desires.

Guilt says that you are not aligned with your true values.

Anger says look into what you are afraid to lose, and resentment is saying you need to work on your victim mentality.

If you don't know what road to take in life at this time,  go about becoming the healthiest, happiest, confident version of yourself.  Then the right path will reveal itself.

"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 32

We are all celestial beings.  We all have potential.  We are all deeply and unconditionally loved by the universe.

We all need to release anything that is no longer for our greatest good.

I honor the light that is within myself and all beings.

We are all important, unique and talented.  Always strive to love yourself without conditions.

I will always see the good in a person over steering more towards their shortcomings.  I will see the good in myself as well.  Strive to not be hard on yourself.  We all have a dark side as well.  However, you can choose to see light instead of darkness.

Have compassion for yourself as well as others.

You can build confidence in any situation.  By letting go of any outcomes and handing it over to God you will learn to have a positive mindset in any situation you might find yourself in.  I will now choose love over fear.

All of us have goals and dreams.

Another reality in this life is that we ourselves create the kind of life we desire by our thoughts and manifestations of what we want.  If you think negatively, you will manifest negativity.

Honor your ambitions and go after your dreams.  We are all worthy of the lives we want to live.  

I keep my manifestations written in a journal.  My creativity flows and I write my desires in my journal as if I already have them.

When we meditate on these goals they will eventually become our reality.

I am excited about my future because I believe in it.  I know it is mine already.  We will talk more about this later on in some future posts.

For now, until the timing is right, I choose to be happy in my circumstances because my heart knows it is all temporary.

I am still learning the lessons the universe is teaching me.  Without the valleys in life, we would not be appreciative of the better times when they come.

I will live an authentic life; I will see clearly and think clearly.

I will be at peace. We were all created as expressions of love.

It is what each of us choose to do with that light within us that makes the difference.  You can choose light or choose to turn your back on the light by living in negativity.  This is what has happened in our world;  people have centered themselves on the negativity.

We all have alot to offer the world.

I choose to release all my anxieties and limiting beliefs so I can share my love and knowledge with the world.

We are all co-creators with the universe.  That is always the way it was meant to be.  Along the way though, we have all been made prisoners inside a matrix.  That is why life has become so hard.  There are those out there who do not want us thinking for ourselves...

Believe it; it's the truth.  They go to great lengths to keep us under their control.

These times call for us all to wake up and see the reality of what has happened.  Very soon, we will be given so much  information and truth, it will be difficult to fathom.  It will take all of us helping one another to be able to adjust to the truth of the many many things which have been hidden from us for generations.