After I was divorced, I definitely had to learn who I was. I did not ever consider myself as my own person, separate from him. I centered my life around my husband's life. For those of us who have been through this, we can all relate. I had never lived on my own at that point in my life. I did not know how to be alone. The emotional roller coaster is nothing to laugh about. Divorce is a significant loss. You have to allow yourself to feel the sadness and anger. Allow yourself to become your number one priority. Treat yourself compassionately. Take care of yourself by exercising, getting enough sleep and eating healthy.
Begin to build a new, strong support system. Connect with trusted friends and family or join a support group with others going through similar circumstances; and then navigating emotional challenges will not be as difficult. Rebuilding your life after a divorce can become one of the toughest challenges ever.
If you were from a two income home things can become extremely difficult going from two people contributing to the household down to one income coming in. You have to create a budgeting guideline to be able to manage it successfully.
Starting with a clear plan is important. Make savings a priority. Money will be tight but even a small amount put back each month can really add up.
Think long term; focus on income growth. Work on rebuilding your credit over time.
Having little money to depend on can also strengthen your resilience. It certainly strengthens you more than you could ever imagine.
Through my own periods of hardship, I opened up my eyes one day and realized that I had made it a whole six months and I was still in the game; not only surviving but I was well on my way to thriving. We are so much stronger than we ever give ourselves credit for. It can look so scary to begin with...you feel so lost. It's so important to acknowledge all the range of emotions you will feel. Allow yourself some healing grace. Give yourself lots of self love. Do not turn yourself into a hermit. Get out and enjoy your life. Go out to eat with friends or go to see a movie. I had to learn to be happy by myself. Once upon a time, I did not like going to do something I enjoyed by myself. Once I got used to sitting in silence with my own company, I then could experience happiness on my own.
Give yourself the chance to be alone with yourself. In this way, so much healing is allowed to take place.
After hermit mode is over and you have learned some of life's toughest lessons, you can then be ready to start a new relationship when the time comes. Never look for your own happiness in another person. Search it out within yourself.
I just placed myself in the background when married before, as though I did not matter; not ever allowing my individuality to shine. I put any and everyone ahead of what I wanted. I did not know I was worthy of my own happiness.
We are all worthy of living a wonderfully fulfilling and happy life.
Love and Light,
💞🕊
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