"OUT OF THE DARKNESS" POST 11

I came to understand that everything that lead up to my being born again, God had put  into play like pieces to a puzzle.  Nothing that happened was by accident... NOTHING.  Buying the property, the creatures, all of it.

Remember my history with the date of June 3rd as mentioned before?  The date I received my salvation was June 3rd, 2010.

I know now I was being tested as well.  I know my life is meant for greater things;  I just have not become aware of what my purpose is just yet, but this was the beginning of my awakening.   This whole experience sent me into what is referred to as the dark night of the soul.  Where everything you considered to be your reality is stripped away and you have no choice but to search inside yourself to gain closeness and connection with the creator.

I soon started realizing more about myself.  Since very small I had been painfully aware of how different I seemed to be from others.  As I grew up I was so tender hearted towards others.

Someone could treat me unkind and I may keep to myself and shed tears for a short time but I always would bounce back even stronger.  I never seemed to treat others with that same type attitude that they dished out to me.  I would internalize the deep hurt but I never let it change the person I am.

Alot of times, I could read a person's energy towards me very quickly and it kept me ready for anything that may come.  They would not have to speak to me at all.  As an adult I realized how much I loved other people, no matter how they treated me.  If another person and I fell out about anything, I could never stay upset.  I have had, over the course of my life, experienced so many hurtful words spoken to me that if I had had a different  nature, I  probably would not ever have wanted  to speak to those people again.  I never allowed myself to grow distant from them.

Another thing that I have noticed over time about myself is that I very frequently interpret words or phrases differently than other people.  That gives me the strangest feeling because it  serves to remind me just how different I truly am.  Sometimes, being this way caused a breakdown in communication and alot of misunderstandings.

From the time I was small I wished to be in a position to help people who needed it.  I feel the same way about our animal friends.  I dream of the day there will be a home for every living creature, every adult, child or animal on this planet.  They should all have a place to call  their home, never homeless or living on the street.

After all my husband and I had been through, including money issues that followed me from my previous marriage, and the lack of support I felt from him while going through those difficult days I experienced on the property, we grew very distant.  The final year we were in the house together we were much more like roommates than a married couple.  After twenty more years of not being someone's priority,  this season of my life was soon coming to a close.